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Past Relationships
November 22, 2020
I have been in relationships in the past. All of which were uncomfortable to me, to say the least, when they ended. All that feeling not good enough stuff came up. As did why didn't I see this or that in the other and so on. It just doesn't feel good to break up. Lol especially when it is the other one pulling the plug. That is the worst. Lol I remember going into "You cant fire me! I quit" mode.
My first love of my life episode ended. I didn't see it coming. When the hurt hit I tried to extinguish her existence in my life by throwing away anything that reminded me of her. The problem was she was still in my head for a while.
I remember a recent TV commercial where the GF is screaming at the apparent X to be and throwing all his stuff out of an upstairs window onto the yard below where he is pleading for her to stop. Especially when she was tossing the monitor/TV. The commercial leaves you wondering what he did to provoke her.
I can go through my house and see pillows on my bed from 2 relationships ago. I have art work and a particular coffee mug that triggers me from the last 15 year connection. And now the one I am in has many reminders of the current connection going on in my life.
I would not be able to throw out the part of town I have to go through that would remind me of her.
The only chance I have is to change the way I react to the remembrances that a relationship creates. Other wise you would have to sell everything and move to a different city every time you end a relationship. Of course that is an option.
I just thought of that song. "All I want to be is done". I have been there too. So the pain I have and might experience again in a relationship is how I react to it. So I am working on my trigger points and when I see a reminder of the past I just talk myself down and say. It is just a cup. It is just a store. It is just any old so and so. It has no power over me. I am slowly reprogramming my self back to neutral. It doesn't happen all at once. But it does get easier the more I do it.
So for the moment I am living with 3 past relationships in the form of a few trinkets and am trying to take advantage of the gift of having this situation to explore and fine tune my self just a bit more. That way I don't have to throw out the TV. Heck Ill just keep it and change the locks. Ha Ha I win. Scott.
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To help another in a remote way you see them as whole complete and healthy and hold the vision or thought for 15 seconds. That is the flare that you shoot out that the universe responds to.
When you see an action or events that tell you that what you have been holding as a belief or honored way of being is untrue, or never actually was the way you were told it was, you feel like you have been had.
